By George E. Markakis. A concise teaching on how to
deal with people who are bound in pornography. I wrote this as an email answer
to a parent who asked for advice about her son. I later decided to post it as a
teaching on my website, in hope it can be of help to others too. Posted on Feb.
6, 2004
This is a difficult subject, and not one that
can be dealt with in a session, or, a week. It requires more in depth teaching,
but I will need to be brief at this stage without much explanation.
1. Pornography is bad, but we need to
understand in what ways it is bad, and not tell people things which are not
true. Also, we must not place more burdens to people, than what they can bear,
because then it turns their hearts against other people and God.
2. Pornography, esp. by an unmarried person,
does not directly break any particular aspect of God’s Law. The Bible teaches
us that we should not covet that which belongs to another person, but in
pornography, coveting a naked girl who voluntarily gave herself to the task
does not break that law.
3. However, pornography makes us addicted to
desiring something which we do not directly have, and therefore opens the heart
for more covetousness, which eventually will also make us envy the wife of our
neighbor.
4. The greatest problem with p/y is that
causes addiction. Especially young men who do not have a girlfriend to help
them release all the “steam” that fills them up, can become so addicted to it,
that even when they get married they cannot break away from it.
5. P/y harms people because it removes the
human aspect and love in the heart related to sexual pleasure, and limits sex
down to animal feelings and satisfaction. This leaves the heart empty, and
causes people to withdraw to themselves, to become less humane, less friendly,
and more afraid of other people.
6. P/y builds the spirit of lust and evil eye
so much in people, that demons can enter and possess them in those areas. Then,
lust can cause a spirit of insatiability, which will certainly cause problems
in marriage relations.
7. People who are already exposed to p/y
should NOT be made to feel shame about it, because then they withdraw to
themselves, and cannot trust their feelings to others any more. That gives room
to spirits of self-condemnation, which in turns causes people to feel that God
does not love them anymore. If they feel that, then they cannot receive the
loving grace of God that removes sin and cleanses us. It is important that
people who are guilty of p/y remain under the forgiving grace of the Lord, so
that they may be set free through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus.
8. It is easier to set free a young man who
watches p/y without any shame and fear, than one who feels condemned and guilty
about it. Therefore, it is better to present p/y to young people as something
which is not all that bad, and then gradually lead them to remove it from their
lives through other means, than trying to scare them away from p/y by telling
them that God is not pleased with it. The truth is that God is not pleased with
any of men’s ways, and He is more concerned about issues of heart, than others.
I personally believe that God is not concerned about p/y much. He is more
concerned that His own people do not forgive one another, that they hold bitterness
in their hearts, that they do not show love and mercy, that they do not pray,
that they are hypocrites and lovers of money and other material possessions.
Jesus said He is going to vomit out of His mouth His own people who are
lukewarm, but He never warned to vomit those who are in bondage to sin. In fact
that is why He died, so that He will set the captives free, and people bound in
p/y are captives that need to be set free through the blood of Jesus Christ. He
loves them, and we must love them too.
9. P/y is an extensive addiction that reaches
all levels of society and even the Church. In a secret and anonymous statistic
in the USA, they discovered that 70% of Pastors admitted that they are regular
watchers of p/y. That shows that we are dealing with a problem which is not
simple, or easy to solve. We therefore need help which people cannot give. The
only help can come from the Lord, and we must treat p/y in the same way as
addiction to drugs. It can be healed only through divine intervention, or,
through spiritual maturity of the person, who becomes so strong in self-control
that he sets himself free from p/y.
10. I believe p/y can be delivered by prayer,
but we need to know how to conduct deliverance prayers, and also the people who
need deliverance must be willing to be set free, and then remain free after the
spirit leaves them.
11. The only next step advice I can give you
is to pray that the Lord will set your son free, and then make sure that your
son becomes exposed to good Bible teaching, which can help him become strong
and mature in the spirit. Do not be discouraged if he continues to do it over a
long period of time. You simply need to continue praying about it, and remain
firm in your belief that the Lord will gradually set him free. At the same
time, you need to remember that p/y is only part of the issue. The main reason
for p/y is the need of your son to release his fluids which pressure him
(masturbation). Even if you cut forcefully the access to p/y, you cannot cut
his mind from imagining when he is under physical pressure. That is why we need
to treat p/y as an issue that requires long term “treatment”, understanding
that it is a complicated thing that involves different aspects of a man’s
character and needs.
12. Also, pray regularly over the computer,
claiming the blood of Jesus over it, and claiming freedom from the spirit of
lust and sexual insatiability. That way you create a spiritual environment
where those spirits will be quenched and unable to influence your son. The same
holds true for you. You need to be free from those spirits too, so that you can
claim the freedom of your son with effectiveness. Some parents do not watch
p/y, but fantasize in their minds when they go to bed, and give themselves over
to spirits of lust, which leads to self-satisfaction. Even though they do not
physically watch p/y, they do so in their minds, and the spirits are free to
operate in the house. Then they affect the younger ones, who fall victim to
spirits that came from the parents in the first place.
As I said, this is a complicated issue, but
remember that the ultimate truth of God is in His Love for us sinners. We must
let that love embrace us and set us free from all forms of bondage.
Be blessed!
George E. Markakis
Christian Development
&Revival Ministries
and Shalom Center
*********************
P.O.Box 66519
Papagou 15610
Greece
*********************
Tel. +30-210.520.1952
Cell +30-694.538.6640
*********************
markakis.g@cdrm.org
www.shalomathens.com